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2:19 – Dispute Over Love! Minako and Makoto Face Off

Alternative Title: The Longest Wee of All Time

First Aired: 14th August 1993

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Usagi spends the day with Minako and Makoto, but the atmosphere is tense – her friends are arguing over the others’ approach to romance, and it’s brought up some rather bitter memories for the two of them. Usagi ushers them into a charm store in the hopes that they’ll make up, as well as looking for something to restore her relationship with Mamoru, but Phantom Sisters Petz and Calaveras are waiting within…

This continues a fantastic streak this series is currently on. Yes, the stuff with Mamoru bothers me a little, and yes Chibi-Usa is insufferable in places, but the central story between Makoto and Minako is great, especially because we don’t get to see an awful number of storylines between Senshi other than Usagi.

There’s also the added bonus of great jokes, excellent action and brand new transformation and attack sequences!

It’s a lovely summer’s day in Tokyo. The park (so many sodding parks) is filled to the brim with couples.

And then there’s Minako, by herself, a little miffed at the heat, and that everyone around her is so flirty. They do a really good job with the art here, I really get that over-exposed look they were going for.

Sometimes Im so glad that I live in soggy old England

Sometimes I’m so glad that I live in soggy old England

Makoto turns up a little late, and Minako is already a little tetchy. It’s understandable, Tokyo in the summer is sweltering. They really should have chosen somewhere inside with some A/C. FOOLS say I.

This little interaction between the two is a good set up for the rest of the episode. The slight unease is definitely a good entry to the spat that rises up. Excellent writing, guys.

I love how long she looks. Fully appreciate her height here

I love how long she looks. Fully appreciate her height here

They do share a rather depressed chuckle about Usagi being the last one to turn up though. I liked that!

Usagi is, indeed, super late, and it’s Chibi-Usa who turns up before her. She’s walking through the park being harassed by two snotty kids. It’s a scene curiously reminiscent of one earlier in the series. A bit old hat by now, you think

Regardless, these two losers are as reprehensible as the last pair. Even worse in fact. The big one, he looks about 30, picks up Chibi-Usa and threatens to make her cry, which I’m fairly sure will get this kid chemically castrated, and good riddance.

"Sweet, Ive always wanted a Chibi-Usa doll"

“This is how you pick up women, right?”

Chibi-Usa is eventually saved by Makoto and Minako. Minako tells Chibi-Usa not to worry, that boys tend to tease girls whom they fancy, but Makoto, realising that this is horrendous advice, takes issue with this.

Score one for Makoto here. If you teach little girls that boys can walk all over them and it be ok, that’s pretty messed up. Perhaps I’m just reading too much into this. Makoto calls Minako a romantic, which I think she meant as sort of a compliment, but Minako’s none too happy.

If looks could kill...

If looks could kill…

Minako touches a sensitive area, Makoto’s desire to replace the senior who dumped her with a similar man. To be fair, that is a part of Makoto which is deeply messed up too.

Heck these girls are as bad as each other. I’m really enjoying all this. They get proper bitchy and it’s nice to see a side of them you just don’t get to see much in this show.

Chibi-Usa interrupts their fight to announce that she doesn’t care about those boys because she’s going to marry Mamo-chan, and I instantly vomit onto my keyboard.

"HEY. I told you to stop saying that after the police questioned me for 4 days."

“HEY. I told you to stop saying that after the police questioned me for 4 days.”

Usagi, just arriving isn’t too please either. We get a scene of everyone arguing (there’s a lot of that this episode), and Chibi-Usa is rather excruciatingly annoying here. All that good will from the last episode is burning up. I also judge Usagi for engaging with this child.

"Im against kicking children in the face on principle, but for you ill make an exception"

“Im against kicking children in the face on principle, but for you I’ll make an exception”

Chibi-Usa leaves with a “If you three can’t get over being dumped, you must really be getting old.”

"...Lets kill her and bury her in the woods."

“…lets kill her and dump her body in the fountain.”

Over in the Black Moon’s UFO, Petz is looking fantastic against the backdrop of Tokyo. Her colours really pop against the washed-out city in the heat. She’s complaining that the stupid past people can’t even control the weather, and I would agree, except to ask why their super-advanced UFO doesn’t have A/C.

Petzs back

“We don’t even have Netflix, what the fuck is wrong with our future?”

As it turns out, bitchy fights are just the same up here. Calaveras snidely remarks that it doesn’t matter if Petz returns to the future because she has no one waiting for her, having been dumped.

Rubeus appears  to announce that he’s found another Crystal Point, a charm store, and he orders Calaveras to go and screw with everyone’s shit in that store to, you know, make bad stuff happen, but the moody dominatrix refuses point blank. Rather ballsy of her.

Calaveras looking haughty

“No can do, Rubeus, I’m riding the crimson wave, I have to haul ass to the ladies.”

Calaveras is instantly regretful of her outburst, and thinks it’s wiser not to piss off Rubeus. Not sure why not, he seems like a happy little squirrel to me. She calls forth a Droid, a rather disgusting but cool thing called Jamanen.

"Speaking of riding the crimson wave..."

“Speaking of riding the crimson wave…”

The effort it took to animate this red goo is to be congratulated. Very interesting design!

"Im an amorphous blog but I still cant form clothes over my breasts"

“I’m an amorphous blob but I still cant form clothes over my breasts”

Before Calaveras can order her Droid to do anything, however, Berthier shows up to cheerfully inform her that Petz has already taken the job. Not wanting to look like a lazy dick, which she is, Calaveras rushes after her to the charm store.

Out shopping, Usagi is trying to make amends between Makoto and Minako, but the two of them are having none of it. This is genuinely a great moment in writing for these characters, their spat feels incredibly familiar and, yes, uncomfortable.

This is the "I fucking hate you" vibe my sister used to give me when we argued as kids. And last Wednesday

This is the “I fucking hate you” vibe my sister used to give me when we argued as kids. And last Wednesday

I’m not entirely sure I buy the reason for their argument, but like all fights it’s really about nothing in particular.

Usagi, walking backwards, slams into something, falls over, and immediately turns around to start yelling at someone for not looking where they were going. It turns out to be a sign.

She does tend to scream obscenities at inanimate objects quite a bit

She does tend to scream obscenities at inanimate objects quite a bit

She’s amazing. Simply amazing. Such a lunatic.

The sign, as it turns out, is for a charms store. WHAT ARE THE FLIPPING ODDS I ASK YE? Usagi is instantly won over and rushes in. Makoto and Minako are esaperated, but amused, by her energy, and share a knowing smile before remembering that they hate each other’s guts.

Thats the "oh crap I forgot I hate you" look I used to get all the time from my sister too

That’s the “oh crap I forgot I hate you” look I used to get all the time from my sister too

Again, excellent writing! Great way to relieve the tension and improve the realism of a fight between friends.

In the back room of the charms store, it’s completely gross. Jamanen has bukakke’d all the human workers to the wall and ceilings and shit. So gross.

Why did you have to take their clothes, Jamanen? Why?

Why did you have to take their clothes, Jamanen? Why?

Which leaves Petz and Calaveras selling cursed gems out front. As women wish for love on these gems, Dark Power takes hold and they instantly revile all men. Seriously, what sane person would believe this? It almost justifies their fate. Also, I object to the fact that it’s only women buying this stuff – men are just as retarded.

"Hey that thing I just said about wanting a guy? Yeah, the exact opposite of that, please." - we never find out if they got cured later or were just left like this

“Hey that thing I just said about wanting a guy? Yeah, the exact opposite of that, please.” – we never find out if they got cured later or were just left like this

So Petz is recruiting men-haters, whatever that means.

And the next in the store… Usagi, Minako and Makoto. Usagi is beside herself with glee, she obviously buys in to all the inane promises on the charms – for grades, for health, for beauty. Sheesh.

But then something truly remarkable catches her eye, like Butch with the katana in Pulp Fiction – it’s a “Chug Challange”, whereby an idiot deposits 100 yen for a massive bottle of “charmed juice” and has to chug it all down in one go for their romantic dreams to come true.

Thats quite a look...

That’s quite a look…

Luna is only halfway through saying how stupid it is before Usagi is throwing her money away. See, Mamoru, THIS is what you’ve done to this poor girl. Honestly.

You know, people die from drinking that much fluid in one go. Would make a fitting end for Usagi I suppose. She died how she lived - covered in sticky fruit juice

You know, people die from drinking that much fluid in one go. Would make a fitting end for Usagi I suppose. She died how she lived – covered in sticky fruit juice

It is hilarious, though. She looks so happy when she’s finished. Seriously though, that piss is going to last an eternity when the juice hits her bladder.

Petz and Calaveras turn up and, like drug pushers, promises that “the good shit is in the back” – I may have paraphrased that.

"And this is where we keep the cocaine"

“And this is where we keep the cocaine Free mirror with every purchase!”

All their shitty cursed gems are lined up for Usagi, who is very interested in how these bits of stone will help her win Mamoru’s heart back.

Just as Usagi reaches out for a gem, Makoto and Minako simultaneously try and grab it. It’s a very funny moment, especially since the focus has been on Usagi throughout the conversation. Usagi’s response is also gold.

"..da faq?"

“..da faq?”

Both girls instantly protest that they’re not obsessed by their past loves WHATSOEVER. The girls have two different approaches too – Minako laughs maniacally while Makoto blushes embarrassed. Again, great stuff.

Outside, Chibi-Usa meets up with Mamoru. Well, rather, Mamoru pretends to hold up Chibi-Usa with a finger gun, then gets a glowing halo around his stupid fucking face.

"Sup. Im Jesus today or something."

“Sup. I’m Jesus today or something.”

Inside the store, Minako seems to feel rather bad. I’m not sure why she decides to try and patch it up with Makoto, it all happens rather quickly to be honest. I don’t mind – we don’t need her motivations, it’s a silly shallow argument and her raw character is enough. I’m with it.

"No I meant that youre a heartless bitch in a good way."

“No I meant that you’re a heartless bitch in a good way.”

Minako says that the senior who dumped Makoto didn’t have good taste, which is taken first as another slight, but as Minako explains that she meant to say how wonderful Makoto is, their argument thaws.

The reparations between Makoto and Minako are brief, but sweet. The two of them vow to find better guys for them (hurrah!), and promises Usagi that it’s Mamoru for her…

…and then he and Chibi-Usa walk into the store.

Usagi thinks the charm has really worked… until the guy turns around and walks out. He, of course, still thinks he’s saving her life, instead of just putting her through emotional turmoil based on ethereal visions.

At least he seems fed up of Chibi-Usa too – he pushes her off on Usagi’s group. What a charming fellow.

Yeah, see what happens when you leave Chibi-Usa with Usagi? Smart move.

Yeah, see what happens when you leave Chibi-Usa with Usagi? Smart move.

Still, as he leaves, he gives a wry smile with a “It looks like I’m destined to meet Usako no matter what” in a sad little voice. It actually made me feel sympathy for him for a second.

Maybe I have been overly harsh on Mamoru. I don’t object to his character typically, I just feel that there could have been a better way to write this character in these episodes.

Back in the charm store, Usagi and Chibi-Usa start up another blazing row, which finally makes Petz snap. She’s been rather emotional all day. I guess trying to murder your customers is a pretty good way to release some pent up frustration.

If I were Petz I would have cracked long before this

If I were Petz I would have cracked long before this

She delivers a pretty funny line – “Love is so stupid” – even better is Makoto’s reaction: “DID YOU JUST SAY LOVE IS STUPID!?” as if she just insulted a family pet.

I should point out that neither Petz nor Calaveras has recognised Chibi-Usa as The Rabbit they’ve been trying so desperately to kill.

"Hey,a rent you trying to kill that kid again today?" "What? Oh no, next time maybe." "...you sure?"

“Hey,aren’t you trying to kill that kid again today?”
“What? Oh no, next time maybe.”
“…you sure?”

Calaveras calls out gross blood-bukakke Droid Jamanen to battle, and Usagi and the other girls are surrounded! It actually looks pretty bad for them (good threat!).

I really like how Usagi is shielding Chibi-Usa throughout this scene – she’s always her first concern, over her own safety. A great character trait.

"Im glad youre trying to save me, but seriously though, stop touching me."

“I’m glad you’re trying to save me, but seriously though, you stink of fruit juice.”

Minako suddenly remembers that Bubble Spray was the worst fucking attack of all time, but it still came in useful for running away, so she uses an equally powerful attack – Fire Extinguisher!

Interesting to think that Sailor Mercury in the first season could have been competently replaced with a fire extinguisher.

"Finally we can get RID of her."

“Finally we can get RID of Ami.”

I don’t know how our Senshi are invulnerable to the same stuff that chokes the Phantom Sisters and even the bloody Droid.

This gives the girls a chance to escape and regroup. Usagi carries Chibi-Usa off while Makoto and Minako use their new transformations!

Jupiter Star Power and Venus Star Power are very nice, if not overly different from their last transformations, but it’s just fine.

Theyre back to back so prepare for trouble. Yes that was a Pokemon reference

They’re back to back so prepare for trouble. Make that double.
Yes, that was a Pokemon reference, and yes I regret it.

Oh man, you guys are in trouble now. Venus and Jupiter kick ass.

Each of the Phantom Sisters use elements that match up to the Senshi. Petz uses Dark Thunder, Koan used Dark Fire, Berthier’s attack we haven’t seen yet but it’s going to be Dark Water…

As for Calaveras? She should have something to match Sailor Venus’ element of light, but instead she just has whips. Two of them. She’s pretty darn cool, I think.

"This is actually not my day job. Normally I work for Silvio Berlusconi"

“This is actually not my day job. Normally I work for Silvio Berlusconi”

The battle itself is great, especially when Sailor Venus performs a flying scissor kick that, while it misses, looks sick.

Theres an uncomfortable up-skirt right before this, but Im too afraid of being arrested by the NSA to show it.

There’s an uncomfortable up-skirt right before this, but I’m too afraid of being arrested by the NSA to show it.

Eventually, both Senshi get restrained, Venus by whip, Jupiter by red gooey Jamanen. Seriously, she’s going to have to bathe for a week to get that shit out of her hair.

"THIS IS SO GROOOOOSS"

“THIS IS SO GROOOOOSS”

Who should save the Senshi but – NO it’s NOT Tuxedo Mask, it’s Sailor Mars with a Burning Mandala! Sailor Mercury just stands there looking awkward. Poor girl.

Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Venus are all riled up now, and they’re spouting some stuff about believing in love giving them power. The barbs they exchange with Petz over this issue are rather inane, but hey, it’s Sailor Moon, I can dig it. They almost make this stuff sound noble.

Jupiter’s new attack comes first – Sparkling Wide Pressure looks great and feels like it packs a punch! Not sure I like it over Supreme Thunder, but at least it’s new. Venus’ attack, Venus Love-Me Chain, is perfectly serviceable, but it’s nowhere near as awesome as Crescent Beam, which is a shame.

So, as you can see in the video above, their attacks overpower the Phantom Sisters… just a bit. Their attacks definitely feel a little weak, even if they look good. Ah well, you can’t have them kill Petz and Calaveras right now can you?

The Sisters run away, just leaving the gross Droid Jamanen left.

...who does a pretty good job by herself, it must be said. At least she left their clothes on this time.

…who does a pretty good job by herself, it must be said. At least she left their clothes on this time.

Usagi, meanwhile, has been stuffing Chibi-Usa in a cupboard “for her own safety” (sort of) and to transform into Sailor Moon. Her entrance is so late today, I was starting to wonder if we’d see her at all!

In fact, we see very little of her, she runs in, fires off a Moon Princess Halation and Jamanen is cooked. They even make a joke about this, Sailor Moon is pissed off that she didn’t even get to say her usual bizarre entrance lines.

"Cant I? I had some really good material on the only  true love being between a horse and a hippo and... you know what, lets just skip it."

“Cant I? I had some really good material on the only true love being between a horse and a hippo and… you know what, let’s just skip it.”

And behind Sailor Moon is Chibi-Usa, who seems in awe of Sailor Moon, not yet realising that she’s Usagi.

Gosh this is a good episode, isn’t it?

The episode ends in the greatest named restaurant in the world – “Pizza Coffee” – at least you know what you’re getting in there I suppose. I’m dying to see the menu.

I imagine its just awful pizza and awful coffee

I imagine its just awful pizza and awful coffee

Inside, the girls are all warning Usagi not to try another Charmed Chug Challenge, forgetting that she’s an idiot. Chug, she does, now convinced that the charm works, since she met Mamoru earlier.

Two times in one day? Pretty sure her bladder has left in protest by this point

Two times in one day? Pretty sure her bladder has left in protest by this point

Rei washes her hands of the whole thing with a brilliantly withering “Those born stupid, die stupid” – she’s so venomous. Gotta love her.

Usagi starts yelling at Rei for being mean, but then pauses suddenly, regurgitates some of the charmed juice, and spits it delicately in Rei’s face.

Ive got nothing.

I’ve got nothing.

I cannot tell you how long I laugh every time I see this scene. It’s so gross. Perfect.

Sorry, but I have to give this episode a pristine score. So good. Keep it up!

 

Episode Score: 5/5 (These are not given out lightly)

Monster Score: 3/5 (Jamanen’s design was cool, but she didn’t have much personality to her)

Number of People Bukakke’d: 13

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6 Comments »

  1. I always thought Venus’s element metal, not light, hence why she uses love-me chain.
    The kanji for Venus is also metal/gold, right?

    • Definite difference between the anime & manga, I’m mostly basing this on Crescent Beam (& shower) and the fact that the anime’s Love-Me Chain seems to be made of light. Who knows what her Love & Beauty Shock attack is meant to be about. You do have point though.

  2. Just rewatching these episodes now that Crystal is in Black Moon territory and i have to say i am loving reading your reviews! In fact a few of your comments had me nearly in tears i was laughing so hard!! (I’m so happy someone else agreed that Mamoru was being a total dick about the visions) ^-^

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