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2:26 – A UFO Appears! The Sailor Senshi Abducted

Alternative Title: Let’s Just Pretend I Didn’t Try and Hit You

First Aired: 6th November 1993

Rubeus looking over Tokyo

 

After realising that Usagi is really her savoir Sailor Moon, Chibi-Usa is deeply conflicted. Despite feeling awful about it, she ends up taking the Ginzuishou from Usagi so that she cannot transform, but when she tries to return to the future with the crystal, Rubeus manages to intercept her. In the act of trying to defend Chibi-Usa, the Sailor Senshi place themselves between her and Rubeus.

This episode has a couple of annoying moments, principally in the writing of characters acting in a way I just do not believe. There are a couple of easy MacGuffins thrown in too, but it’s not a terrible episode. Once again, I can only wish that it wasn’t the less-talented production team taking on this episode.

Let’s get to it.

Chibi-Usa has returned to the small lake where she first appeared out of the sky. She’s rather traumatised – honestly, she’s acting like she has PTSD from the Gulf War or something, but in reality it’s shock from realising that Usagi and her friends are, in fact, the Sailor Senshi.

"SO MUCH CONFLICTING EMOTIONS"

“SO MUCH CONFLICTING EMOTIONS”

It was sort of obvious, Chibi-Usa.

High above Tokyo, meanwhile, is a rather lonely Rubeus, chatting to himself like a lunatic. Maybe you shouldn’t have kept trying to kill your subordinates? It couldn’t have been that bad hanging out with the Phantom Sisters, could it?

"Jesus, they could have at least cleaned the windows before they defected."

“Jesus, they could have at least cleaned the windows before they defected.”

Especially compared to who he’s about to be joined by, Rubeus will be missing the Phantom Sisters hard right now.

The air is RENT ASUNDER by the most horrific of all sounds. It’s like a demon who had never heard a human laugh was trying to emulate it based purely on description, and what he produced could cause your guts to fall out your undercarriage.

That is literally the nicest thing I will say about Esmeraude

That is literally the nicest thing I will say about Esmeraude

The person responsible for this “sound” is Esmaraude. I fucking hate this bitch. I mean, I hate Rubeus too, but in a good way.

Rubeus isn’t too happy to see her eaither. She immediately starts ripping into him, talking about how she’s replacing him after he failed to kill The Rabbit… he turns into a BABY and starts yelling how Prince Dimande would never give up on him, despite the fact that he’s a colossal fuck-up.

"WAAAHH my boss loves me no matter how incompetent I am WAAAHH"

“WAAAHH my boss loves me no matter how incompetent I am WAAAHH”

Esmeraude really is detestable, but she does make a good point. Rubeus lost the Phantom Sisters, failed to corrupt any Crystal Point, failed to kill The Rabbit, and failed to get the Silver Crystal. Such is the nature of this series that the bad guys can never win a a single battle. The Dark Kingdom were still allowed to steal energy successfully, and to gather Rainbow Crystals, and to brainwash Mamoru.

The Black Moon in comparison are set in in a no-win situation.

Esmeraude casually drops the fact that she’ll be taking over Rubeus’ job from the following day, ensuring that Rubeus will do something drastic and stupid.

Enough of that, what’s Usagi up to?

She’s running about after school getting rushing to get to Hikawa Shrine. All the while, Chibi-Usa is eyeing her suspiciously. It’s rather curious to see her so indecisive, she’s normally so headstrong.

"What the heck is wrong with Chibi-Usa? She looks like shes planning to kill me or something."

“What the heck is wrong with Chibi-Usa? She looks like she’s planning to kill me or something.”

The Senshi are discussing the increased numbers of UFO sightings around Tokyo in the last few days. Evidently Rubeus has been forgetting to hit the invisibility booster. I imagine him to be deep into his drinks at the moment. Who wants to fly a UFO sober anyway?

Despite her rushing, Usagi is late anyway, missing the discussion about keeping their guard up against the Black Moon entirely and moving straight onto Makoto’s cookies.

Shes lacking the bobble eyes and the blue fur, but the resemblance is downright uncanny

She’s lacking the bobble eyes and the blue fur, but the resemblance is downright uncanny

The art in this episode sucks, by the way.

The girls are all adamant that they need to protect Chibi-Usa, especially Usagi. I hope she remembers how dedicated she was in this moment, because that resolve will be tested…

Back at the Tsukino household, Usagi’s mother (I think her name is Ikuko) is showing Chibi-Usa how to make pancakes. When Chibi-Usa asks why she’s making so many (it’s enough to feed a platoon, a complete waste), Ikuko tells her that it’s just in case Usagi and Shingo come home.

Its about as tall as Chibi-Usa. Goddamn Ikuko, go get a damn job or something

Its about as tall as Chibi-Usa. Goddamn Ikuko, go get a damn job or something

There’s being a good mother, and then there’s just being a crazy-ass mum who makes half a tonne of pancakes “just in case”.

Ikuko gives the talk to Chibi-Usa about how much parents love their kids, that a mother would put anything aside for their children. I don’t know why Chibi-Usa is acting like this is a revelation to her.

Apparently the concept of a parent loving their child unconditionally is a new idea to her. Knowing her parents, I can sort of see where they went wrong

Apparently the concept of a parent loving their child unconditionally is a new idea to her. Knowing her parents, I can sort of see where they went wrong

It’s lovely seeing Ikuko and Chibi-Usa getting along though. Considering what we know of Chibi-Usa’s parentage, it’s a rather warming thought to see a generational gap being crossed like this.

Chibi-Usa sneaks into Usagi’s room… and the Ginsuishou is just lying there on Usagi’s uniform. She’s shocked that such a powerful item could be left so haphazardly on the bed like this – damn straight, honestly Usagi.

"Technically its not stealing if theyre an idiot, right?"

“Technically it’s not stealing if they’re an idiot, right?”

In the end, Chibi-Usa decides against stealing the Ginzioshou and the transformation broach – Sailor Moon has saved her so many times after all – but then Usagi comes home.

Even though Ikuko has slavishly made thousands of pancakes for Usagi, her daughter has filled up on cookies at Hikawa Shrine. THE NERVE! Well, no, not really, it’s Ikuko’s fault for presuming that her endlessly feasting daughter wouldn’t have filled up.

"That bitch didnt want pancakes? Well Im going to stop her saving thousands of peoples lives in Tokyo."

“That bitch didnt want pancakes? Well I’m going to stop her saving thousands of peoples lives in Tokyo. It’s all her fault.”

.Regardless, Chibi-Usa decides that this is the last straw, that the pure, good-hearted Sailor Senshi could not be Usagi after all.

As it turns out, Usagi was running home precisely because she forgot her transformation broach. She bursts back into her room to find… the window open and the broach gone! Well that’s what you get for leaving a gem of infinite power just lying around.

Chibi-Usa runs off like a thief in the night. She knows what she’s done is wrong, and tries to justify it to herself by saying how much she hates Usagi, that she could never trust her, but you sort of see that this is all bullshit. That being said, it’s rather hard to sympathise with Chibi-Usa in this episode.

The security of the world could not be in safer hands.

The security of the world could not be in safer hands.

Back in Rubeus’ hole, we find that he has one last ally in Wiseman, who appears to tell him that the time has come – The Rabbit has the Ginzuishou, there will never be a better time to steal it. So now he just needs to pull his fucking thumb out of his ass. Rubeus begins hunting.

"Also, I love your boots, but my crystal ball totally wont take my debit card right now. Where did you buy them!?"

“Also, I love your boots, but my crystal ball totally wont take my debit card right now. Where did you buy them!?”

As the sun sets,Chibi-Usa uses the Space-Time key once more in an attempt to return to the future, but once again it fails to work. She just doesn’t understand why, and in her malaise, she unwittingly unleashes another energy blast. Well Jesus Chibi-Usa, could you not have kept your shit on the down-low for one day?

Maybe just learn not to be such a goddamn cry-baby? Oh wait, that sounds rather familiar...

Maybe just learn not to be such a goddamn cry-baby? Oh wait, that sounds rather familiar…

Why Rubeus doesn’t immediately kill Chibi-Usa, I don’t know, he pisses about just long enough to let Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus to attack him. YOU’RE SO AWFUL, RUBEUS.

"I have you n- OW HOLY SHIT"

“I have you n- OW HOLY SHIT”

Sailor Mercury distracts Rubeus with a Bubble Spray – will we ever, EVER not have Bubble Spray? – and Sailor Mars runs off with Chibi-Usa.

The Senshi are all rather taken aback when Chibi-Usa reveals that she knows who they are. She’s also rather ungrateful, too, considering she was almost murdered, thinking that all they want from her is the broach. The writers are making it really hard for me to sympathise with her today.

"You guys keep saving my life. Piss off."

“You guys keep saving my life. Piss off.”

Chibi-Usa then starts laying into Usagi, calling her self-centred, irresponsible and spoiled, without a trace of irony – she’s just as much those things. The girls all accept that this is true (harsh), but that Usagi isn’t so bad after all.

Really, I don’t know where all this dislike came today. Trying to justify why she stole from Usagi is one thing, but they seem to suggest an actual incident where Usagi pissed off Chibi-Usa, where as far as I can see, the only thing she did wrong was not eat some pancakes.

Oh well.

Oh, and then the Sailor Senshi totally just let her run off. You idiot. They didn’t even try to get the broach off her.

"They didnt clean THIS window EITHER. Im GLAD they left me -sniff-"

“They didn’t clean THIS window EITHER. I’m GLAD they left me -sniff-“

Chibi-Usa, in the middle of the night, ends up on Mamoru’s doorstep, because where else?

We get a snippet of what happened in the future in Chibi-Usa’s dream. It’s poorly animated, but interesting nevertheless. All it shows us is the Future Senshi running off with “Small Lady”, trying to protect her.

I wonder whos idea it was to try and outrun spaceships on foot?

I wonder who’s idea it was to try and outrun spaceships on foot? Sounds like one of Sailor Mercury’s plans

And then we get the arrestingly weird scene of Mamoru trying to cheer Chibi-Usa up with a Tuxedo Kamen hand puppet. So, despite the fact that he’s ACTUALLY Tuxedo Kamen, Mamoru feels the need to put on a stupid voice to play his own puppet.

It even has the same vacant douchey expression as the real Tuxedo Kamen

It even has the same vacant douchey expression as the real Tuxedo Kamen

Why does he even own this, anyway?

Chibi-Usa asks Hand Puppet Tuxedo Kamen if Sailor Moon is strong, to which Mamoru responds, in his own normal voice, “Yeah, she’s invincible”, except, of course, for that one time that she totally died.

I like that Mamoru shows as much faith in Sailor Moon as ever, even if he’s still a dick.

Sadly, Usagi chooses this moment to come searching for Chibi-Usa, and the little girl decides to use Luna-P to base jump off Mamoru’s balcony. I can guarantee this got cut for the US dub.

Its like that bit out of Hangover 3. Oh I forgot that I was the only one who saw that.

Its like that bit out of Hangover 3. Oh I forgot that I was the only one who saw that.

Mamoru’s response is “Oh yeah, there she goes, you’re too late.” Dude, she’s 7.

"Yeah shes probably dead. You want pancakes?"

“Yeah she’s probably dead. You want pancakes?”

Time time when Chibi-Usa uses the key, it works! The portal begins to open… but Rubeus isn’t done just yet. The UFO appears, able to detect the manipulation of Space-Time from the key, and stops Chibi-Usa from escaping.

The UFO is fully uncloaked. I guess Rubeus has just stopped caring.

I love the design of this thing. Looks even better at night

I love the design of this thing. Looks even better at night

So, Chibi-Usa is finally boned, right? NOPE, Sailor Senshi. Rubeus, however, has a pretty good ace up his sleeve. The girls’ attacks all fail to connect with Rubeus – he’s in the forcefield of the UFO.

And that’s not all, the craft also has another feature – a traction beam It’s pretty cool actually.

"Yeah, I probably should have just done this from the beginning, would have been much quicker."

“Yeah, I probably should have just done this from the beginning, would have been much quicker.”

The only thing left to the Sailor Senshi is to combine their powers again, but they know that without Sailor Moon, they’re not strong enough to save themselves…

Only Chibi-Usa.

"I instantly regret this."

“I instantly regret this.”

See what your haste has brought, Chibi-Usa!? The Senshi combine powers (it looks awful when compared to last episodes), and stop the ray long enough for Tuxedo Kamen to run in and grab her.

"Hey. Im leaving now. You guys are probably fucked."

“Hey. I’m leaving now. You guys are probably fucked.”

Oh, he totally doesn’t stick around to help the other girls though, he just bloody legs it the bastard. The Senshi are all pulled up into the UFO.

Oh dear, that’s rather bad isn’t it?

"Tell Chibi-Usa that shes a biiiiiitch..."

“Tell Chibi-Usa that she’s a biiiiiitch…”

Now comes the moment I just cannot abide in the slightest. Usagi is so wroth that she makes to strike Chibi-Usa hard across the face, but Tuxedo Kamen stops her and shakes his head.

No, she would not do this.

No, she would not do this.

Its not like she comes to the realisation that despite her anger, it would be wrong to strike a child. She literally has to be stopped by a dominering ex-boyfriend.

Its not like she comes to the realisation that despite her anger, it would be wrong to strike a child. She literally has to be stopped by a domineering ex-boyfriend.

I’m so infinitely annoyed by this. There’s no way on Earth I could ever believe Usagi would strike a child in the face like this. I’m even more displeased that it takes Tuxedo Kamen, a man, to hold her back. It’s such a misstep I cannot quite comprehend it.

I just refuse this moment. It didn’t happen. It was the shitty writing team this episode, and I just have to ignore the moment as being utterly utterly alien to the show.

The episode ends with Usagi screaming at Chibi-Usa that this is all her fault, which is hard to argue against, really. Rubeus, high above them, laughs his tits off.

Then he briefly becomes what he despises at the end of this episode and laughs like Esmeraude

Then he briefly becomes what he despises at the end of this episode and laughs like Esmeraude

Again, poor writing. Why isn’t he just attacking again? The Rabbit is right there, he has his UFO to back him up, Usagi hasn’t even transformed yet. Alas, all these points we’ll have to address next episode, as this is a two-parter.

I don’t mind the majority of this episode, but that ending is just so insane that I really don’t like coming back to this one. Thankfully, next episode is a really, really good one, and more then makes up for this episode.

 

Episode Score: 2/5

Number of Times Rubeus Could Have Killed Chibi-Usa: 4

Number of Tuxedo Kamen Puppets Mamoru Owns: 17

 

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8 Comments »

  1. It’s true the bad guys never win. Just ask Berthier: she had the entire Senshi team booked, but then a certain rose throwing asshole came and just threw a big ol’ deus ex machina into her game, and just ruined her day.

  2. I thought that scene where Usagi almost hits Chibs was pretty realistic. After what happened at D-Point and dealing with Chibs’ overall B.S for so long, it seemed natural for her to go overboard. It’s not like we haven’t seen Usagi lash out physically – she’s smacked her brother, she’s smacked Luna, she’s smacked Mamaoru – since she’s immature and rash and doesn’t think sometimes about her actions in the short term. Also, I’m not a fan of Mamoru, but this was a good moment for him. I never saw his stopping Usagi as ‘THE WALKING PENIS CONTINUES TO OPPRESS’, since his action was to step in and stop Usagi from doing something he knows she’ll regret the second it’s happening. He doesn’t scold her, he doesn’t say a word, and never brings it up again – just shakes his head without judgement since he knows this isn’t what anyone wants and yet he understands how much pain she must be in.

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