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3:25 – Crazy for Celebrities! Mimett, in Doubt

Alternative Title: Paris Hilton Syndrome

First Aired: 19th November 1994

Mimett appalled

Mimett is balls-crazy about Jinta Araki, an idol who is holding an audition for his next film’s heroine. Mimett goes, intending to steal his Pure Heart, but is conflicted when she has the chance for actually succeeding in the role. Will she chose between her job with the Death Busters or a life as an idol?

…and who the hell cares?

I have no memory for this episode. It’s so incredibly “filler” that it leaves no mark on the brain. For Sailor Moon, that’s extraordinary. At least the reprehensibly bad episodes I can remember from the rage.

Part of it is lazy writing. Part of it is a reliance on cheap jokes. Most of it is the complete lack of interest Mimett creates as a character.

My golly gosh how I dislike her.

This is one in a strong of shoddy episodes in the otherwise brilliant Sailor Moon S series. I feel like they’ve introduced Hotaru, then had no idea what to do or which characters to develop in the build up to the finale.

The episode beings, once again, with the Messiah of Silence in the creepy room with all the dolls. I still really like the setting… but this is starting to lose it’s effectiveness. At first it was delightfully creepy and artistic, but with the continued failure of the Death Busters to succeed at anything, this seems a little pointless now.

"Seriously, Im starving. If you cant get a Pure Heart, pick up a Subway or something."

“Seriously, I’m starving. If you can’t get a Pure Heart, pick up a Subway or something.”

I would have liquidated Mimett with her failures by now. It’s just ONE Pure Heart, you know. Just pick one up at the supermarket.

We pass through the Death Busters’ lab to the Witches 5’s room… except now someone has artfully taped over “5” with “4”. I love this joke. Cracks me up every time.

I feel as though this is definitely Mimett's penmanship

I feel as though this is definitely Mimett’s penmanship

We see the as-of-yet-unknown Witches working on… sciencey shit… before we pass to Mimett. What’s she up to then?

Oh dear God. She’s pretending to be an idol to a radio. This inexorably reminds me of the rather pathetic attempt of Usagi and Naru to get famous back in the day. I rather like comic bad guys, but not at the expense of intimidation. Mimett seems as threatening as a wet paper bag after this.

This is, of course, a reference to the fact that she's an actual idol in the manga. Also to personally wound me.

This is, of course, a reference to the fact that she’s an actual idol in the manga. Also to personally wound me.

Mimett gets rather excited when a particularly favourite idol of her’s, Jinta Araki, comes on with his hit new single “Blue Crisis Love“. I do find this all rather funny, especially because he looks remarkably like Haruka.

This song sucks. Mimett doesn’t seem to notice. Do we have to spend an episode with Mimett? Note that they never actually show Jinta singing, only show his adoring fans. He could sound like a dustbin for all we know.

Whereas he ACTUALLY sounds like a guitar being smashed into a pot plant

Whereas he ACTUALLY sounds like a guitar being smashed into a pot plant

The Senshi, too, are watching Jinta’s concert on TV, taking a break from studying. There are never going to pass those entrance exams. The girls discus “Okakke”, or Chasers, celebrity-mad people who stalk, basically. I’m feeling some social commentary coming on.

This feels rather antiquated, like parents in the 60s discuss “Beatle-Mania”.

"The new Araki-Mania has gripped the country, with women of loose morals across the country flocking to this hip new face on the scene!"

“The new Araki-Mania has gripped the country, with women of loose morals across the country flocking to this hip new face on the scene!”

Speaking of chasers… Minako. She tries to sounds cool, blowing off the idea of Jinta, but by the way Artemis was about to spill his guts on her… well I’m guessing it’s stalking, she’s just as insane as Mimett.

It would probably improve the Death Buster's chances no end if Minako joined the Death Busters.

It would probably improve the Death Buster’s chances no end if Minako joined the Death Busters.

Jinta, on TV, announces that he’ll be selecting the heroine for an up-coming movie of his by open auditions. Fuck. Off. I hate this plot already. The only person who has ever been successful in a film after open auditions was that girl who played Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter.

Minako surreptitiously takes note of the time. I do like how self-concious she’s being, knowing that everyone else will judge her for being so fame-hungry as to attend that audition. I judge her too, to be honest. Oh Minako…

The Professor, meanwhile, asks Mimett about the next target… and she shows him a picture of Jinta in speedos. Oh my. The Professor strikes me as a person who wouldn’t mind that too much.

"Yeah ok he's pretty hot actually."

“Yeah ok he’s pretty hot actually. Are those dick-abs?”

The Professor finally puts two and two together, and in a rather dangerous and hurt voice…

Mimett… it seems like all your targets are celebrities… If you confuse your hobbies with your tasks, you won’t go far here in the the Death Busters.

Well no shit. I have no idea why she’s in the Death Busters, she hasn’t show any aptitude for evil deeds, science, research or even being Ok to hang around with.

Finally Mimett is taken down a peg… but she tries to turn it around by explaining… something about charisma providing better Pure Hearts for the Messiah, before falling to the ground and crying.

I hate her so much.

For an evil genius, he sure does lack the ability to tell real and fake emotions. He does strike me as a little... autistic...

For an evil genius, he sure does lack the ability to tell real and fake emotions. He does strike me as a little… autistic…

The Professor buys this bullshit and apologises, and tells her that she’s undoubtedly the “next high executive!” I hope this is just to get her out the door.

As she leaves, the Professor reads the cover of a magazine with a scantily-clad Jinta Araki on the cover, and reads out: “I love you Araki. I love Araki with a golden tan,” before cracking out in insane laughter.

"WOAH. Everyone in here has dick-abs."

“WOAH. Everyone in here has dick-abs.”

I have to admit, that moment made this all worth it. Cracked me up too. This weird, threatening, absurdist humour is what I love about Sailor Moon.

"DICK-ABS HAHAHAHAHA!"

“DICK-ABS HAHAHAHAHA!”

The next day, the Senshi are back at it studying, all bar Minako who is conspicuously absent. I really like how cute they’re drawn in this scene. This is the animation and writing team who are a bit simplistic, but have produced some real gems, like the one where Makoto questioned her sexuality.

Artemis comes in looking for Minako, but when Ami explains to him that she “came down with a cold“, his bullshit detector goes off at once…

He's perfected the "skeptical look". I've been trying for years but can't quite cock my eyebrow enough

He’s perfected the “skeptical look”. I’ve been trying for years but can’t quite cock my eyebrow enough

And indeed, Minako is at the auditions. She claims that she just wants a glimpse of Jinta Araki… which I’m a bit suspect of, really. She finds out that she has to make it through to the second round of auditions to meet him… which is when Mimett explodes with her stupid voice into the scene.

Minako and Mimett size each other up at once. I like how they play this off, as though they recognise each other… professionally, but as it turns out, they both identify the original Araki t-shirt each other is wearing, sold as his debut – a sign of a TRUE HIPSTER I LIKED HIM BEFORE HE WAS FAMOUS fan.

Rolling my eyes a little. But it’s still enjoyable in an inoffensive way.

"I KNOW THIS T-SHIRT." "...that's my nipple-ring, actually."

“I KNOW THIS T-SHIRT.”
“…that’s my nipple-ring, actually.”

They seem to get on after that initial reaction, sharing in their obsessive stalking with one another.

We move onto the swimsuit audition… can you imagine invite someone to an acting audition and immediately trying to oggle them? I mean, Minako is 14 for godsake. Obviously I’m being naive – this does happen – but I’m wary that a show for kids is teaching in this scene that people will try to objectify young women immediately and that it’s perfectly acceptable.

It’s not, by the way. Rant over.

I have no words for how creepy this is

I have no words for how creepy this is

The “judges” ask Minako if she’s OK doing kissing scenes with Araki (getting SUPER dodgy guys), and Minako boldly responds that she’d have to keep the movie a secret from her parents.

OK I did chuckle at that. She’s ballsy, make no mistake.

The next question is asked by a disturbing man rubbing his hands together and adoption a… uh… “paedophilic voice”… only way I could describe it. “If you were asked to have dinner with the director… what would you do?

Guys, I literally have NO WORDS for how creepy this is. What the hell is this?

Guys, I literally have NO WORDS for how creepy this is. What the hell is this?

The correct answer would be “alert the authorities” (she’s 14 and IN A SWIMSUIT YOU FUCKER), but Minako just says that she’ll eat anything, except for shiitake mushrooms. What she’ll do for fame…

"Maybe I'd have a more positive self-image if I weren't bombarded by messages that shallow attractiveness and submission were admirable traits for young women?"

“Maybe I’d have a more positive self-image if I weren’t bombarded by messages that shallow attractiveness and submission were admirable traits for young women?”

Next up is Mimett, who is apparently nervous as heck and can’t answer anything anyway. I hate all this. No one care, Mimett, get off the stage.

Amazingly, in the 5 top girls is Minako (naturally) and Mimett (what the frack?) Apparently one of the judges… liked the look of her? SO SO CREEPY.

I actually found it more annoying when she couldn't talk as opposed to when she could.

I actually found it more annoying when she couldn’t talk as opposed to when she could.

Mimett actually starts getting worried about this. Yes, we’re in yet another Mimett scene even though no one likes her and no one cares and we’re all waiting for more scenes with Minako, but Mimett is torn you guys. Let’s pay more attention to this shallow shrill murderous backstabbing incompetent wretch.

Ahem, sorry about that.

Anyway, Mimett worries that if she actually manages to get the part in the next day’s audition, she’ll be forced to chose between the Death Busters and her dream of fame. She really should be choosing between unemployment or working at Burger King.

"I'm FAMOUS and I didn't even have to do a shitty celebrity sex tape!"

“I’m FAMOUS and I didn’t even have to do a shitty celebrity sex tape!”

Her fantasies dissolve as the Professor checks her temperature, thinking that her insane solipsistic and ego-maniacal daydream was illness of some sort.

The Professor’s consideration makes Mimett remember that she’s meant to be stealing Araki’s heart. Are we seriously meant to be feeling sympathy for her here? She’s torn between murdering a dude (loyalty) or not murdering a dude (fame & money, also less murder presumably) and we’re meant to want to watch this play out?

Ugh... I miss the Senshi. What's happening with them? Why is this the Mimett show?

Ugh… I miss the Senshi. What’s happening with them? Why is this the Mimett show?

Amazingly, it’s Minako’s words about pouring everything you have into love that convinces her to completely fuck over the Death Busters… just as we catch a glimpse of Eugeal’s locker with an upside-down bouquet of flowers and a shrine in her honour. This is sooo weird. I loved this call-back.

I wonder if this is reminding us that Mimett totally murdered her?

"As long as no one finds out that I totally murdered by boss, I'll be on easy street."

“As long as no one finds out that I totally murdered by boss, I’ll be on easy street.”

The proper audition is a farce. Why is this run like a beauty pageant? I suppose this is prophetic – a few years later Pop Idol and Britain’s Got Talent would emerge in this format, one that’s just as ridiculous now as it is in this anime from 1994.

Minako walks off stage and is beset by Artemis, who seems more resigned than anything. She explains that she’s just embarrassed to tell the others that she’s been idol-chasing, rather than trying to keep a secret.

"I mean, if I WERE to get rich and famous, I would TOTALLY still do that... Senshi thing... seriously..."

“I mean, if I WERE to get rich and famous, I would TOTALLY still do that… Senshi thing… seriously…”

So the way they determine who will star opposite Araki is… this… meter thing…? What the actual fuck? What is this measuring? Who cares.

This is actually hooked up to an erectile turgidity machine slapped on that creepy judge from earlier

This is actually hooked up to an erectile turgidity machine slapped on that creepy judge from earlier

Minako spots Mimett practising for questions on stage… and this is the most pathetic I’ve ever seen her. She’s just a big mess and sounds so, so sad and so whiny. I really miss Eugeal.

Minako’s turn is up, reminds everyone that she’s 14, and oh by the way the Outer Senshi are in the audience. Why? WHO CARES. They don’t even try to explain this one. The writing in this episode is soooooo lazy.

"We're here for our paycheck."

“We’re here for our paycheck.”

Minako comes close (CLOSE TO WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU MEASURING? This feels like fucking Dostoyevsky novel) but ultimately fails to illicit the glowing LED she needed to succeed. She takes it all in stride, however, which you have to admire. All she really wanted was to meet Araki anyway…

…who turns up right behind her. He’s gross.

"You'll forget me when I'm on the 19th series of Celebrity Big Brother drinking wine out of a politician's crack for cheap ratings."

“You’ll forget me when I’m on the 19th series of Celebrity Big Brother drinking wine out of a politician’s crack for cheap ratings.”

Minako promises to keep cheering for him, but Araki rather astutely (and not at all realistically) thinks that his fans will one day forget all about him. And then he throws out utter nonsense about… love and idols and stuff. Pass the bucket, I need to hurl.

Meanwhile, Mimett appears to pass the “test” on stage! She’s ecstatic! She’s over the moon! And then the lights fall again. FAKE OUT.

This is just cruel. What is the point of this audition? Is anyone actually watching this? I mean, I know Britain's Got Talent is successful and all...

This is just cruel. What is the point of this audition? Is anyone actually watching this? I mean, I know Britain’s Got Talent is successful and all…

This is a cruel bait and switch. Now Mimett looks like a goddamn joke.

She does not take this rejection well. Pretending that her plan all along was to further promote the ambitions of the Death Busters after all, she transforms into SUPER MIMETT.

Or, well, it’s Mimett with a stick.

"Here's my magic staff, with which I can cast a magical attack to BEAT YOUR FACES IN."

“Here’s my magic staff, with which I can cast a magical attack to BEAT YOUR FACES IN.”

Her Daimohn today is “Utahime” (“Song Princess”. This will be awful if previous musical enemies are anything to go by). She’s noisy.

Well she's got style, I'll give you that. I sort of want that... cape thing... what's it called...? A towel? What do you want from me I'm not a dressmaker.

Well she’s got style, I’ll give you that. I sort of want that… cape thing… what’s it called…? A towel? What do you want from me I’m not a dressmaker.

Mimett actually attacks with her own powers for once, with a “Charm Buster!“. All it does it knock the audience out conveniently/ More lazy writing I think, reminds me of the Cardian who attacked Rei on stage.

Utahime gets really close to making out with Araki, closer than any Cormerant Daimohn yet. More creepiness. Well thank God he’s finally dead.

"Ehhh fuck it. What have I got to lose? Pucker up."

“Ehhh fuck it. What have I got to lose? Pucker up.”

And then… “Moon Tiara Action!” WAIT what the hell? Where did this come from? You can really tell the difference in animation style in the three years past. So weird that they’re using this again, but nostalgic at least.

"Hey what the hell? Who knew I could even still DO this?"

“Hey what the hell? Who knew I could even still DO this?”

The Tiara knocks out Mimett’s stupid stick thing as the Senshi appear in the rigging above the stage. Weird place to be hanging out, really. Minako runs away, transforms into Sailor Venus, then immediately returns. How is Mimett not suspicious of this? Oh well, at least she’s on fire today.

Sailor Venus is mostly mad at Mimett for “breaking the Chasers’ rules” of not causing hassle for the idol. I would say stealing a Pure Heart with a monster counts as hassle, yes. At least Venus has her priorities straight.

Is this trying to be social commentary? Is this episode telling Chasers NOT to murder their idols?

"Rule number 3 of Stalkers: DON'T eat your target's face. It's rather inconvenient and ruins them for other stalkers.

“Rule number 3 of Stalkers: DON’T eat your target’s face. It’s rather inconvenient and ruins them for other stalkers.

Utahime prepares to attack with an enormous build up, warming up her voice, having an intro, there’s all this tension building up…

…and then she forgets the lyrics. What a crappy Daimohn. Made me laugh at least. We won’t even be getting good action this episode I guess.

Well wasn't that a convenient way to avoid a hard-to-animate fight sequence?

Well wasn’t that a convenient way to avoid a hard-to-animate fight sequence?

Super Sailor Moon -> Rainbow Moon Heartache, you know the drill.

Mimett makes one last grab for the Pure Heart, but Venus wards her off. One final scene to make Mimett looks completely pathetic, eh?

The Outer Senshi are here, by the way, and completely superfluous to the episode. Why even show them? All they do is speculate on why the Death Busters would need more Pure Hearts… and Pluto assumes, correctly, that they’ve found their Messiah of Silence and require an energy source for it.

"Do you think we should ask them to join our Dungeons & Dragons game...?"

“Do you think we should ask them to join our Dungeons & Dragons game…?”

Mimett goes back to the Professor with her tail between her legs begging for forgiveness, but the silly git forgives her with an “There’s always tomorrow, Mimett.

OR you can fire her right now.

"Well Mimett? How was your episode in the spotlight? I hope you had fun because it's never happening again, you boring-ass self-centred incompetent sociopath."

“Well Mimett? How was your episode in the spotlight? I hope you had fun because it’s never happening again, you boring-ass self-centred incompetent sociopath.”

Don’t worry guys, it picks up a little next episode, I promise.


Episode Score: 2/5 (Some amusing moments, but more of an exercise in watch-checking)

Monster Score: 2/5 (Utahime had the one good joke and nothing else.)

Final Thought: The audition ended without them finding anyone for the part. So why hold them at all then? Who is paying for all this hooplah? Is this just all some tax write-off? Follow the money, guys.

NEXT TIME: Hotaru is really pathetically weak, and then she murders a crying child with her mind. Awesome.

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