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4:16 – Time to Believe in the Pegasus! The Super Transformations of the Four Senshi

Alternative Title: “I Want You to Score a Goal Inside of Me.”

First Aired: 22nd July 1995

Chibi moon and Pegasus

Chibi-Usa is asked out by some lame kid called Roberto, but is confused by her feelings towards Pegasus, the horse demon that lives in a lamp on her desk. When reports of a flying horse attacking people in the streets emerges, Chibi-Usa vehemently disbelieves them, but the Sailor Senshi aren’t as trusting.

Ok, so from the title I gathered this was the disappointing episode where the four Senshi get upgraded to their Super forms and recommence their side-lining for the rest of the series. What I had forgotten, or maybe what I had completely suppressed, was that this was the episode where Fish-Eye graduates from wonderfully fabulous diva antagonist to “paedophile”.

Not a successful paedophile, mind you, quite a shit one – but the label is given on intent. Christ almighty give me strength…

First of all: this episode looks fucking butts. It’s the worst animator out of the lot, the one I think is responsible for some of the greatest crimes against anime.

Second of all: this episode is fucking butts and I hate it. Let’s just get this over with.

Dude in a truck crashes after… seeing Pegasus. Just hanging out in the rain on a miserable Tokyo night. Well I prefer this modus operendi than anything else he enjoys getting up to…

"Really gotta stop injecting smack into my eyeballs, I'm seeing flying horses again."

“Really gotta stop injecting smack into my eyeballs, I’m seeing flying horses again.”

Cut to Chibi-Usa’s school, with Momo, Turdtsuke and Boring Child all perving over a foreign student called Roberto. He likes football and he looks like Japanese Fabio. I already hate him. Look at this shit.

"WHITE PRIVILEGE POWER MAKE-UP!"

“WHITE PRIVILEGE POWER MAKE-UP!”

Oh look now he’s hitting on Chibi-Usa by confidently calling her Chibi-Usa-Chan *THE NERVE* and being all confusingly androgynous and stuff. Chibi-Usa looks appropriately taken aback for being asked out as an 11 year old by some dude that looks like a 25 year old woman.

Also, this animator doesn’t know how to draw little boys. Whenever the camera zooms out, they appear to be over 6 foot tall, but wearing suspiciously short shorts.

"My mom lent me her wig for the day, I hope you like it. It smells of her."

“My mom lent me her wig for the day, I hope you like it. It smells of her.”

Rimjob-Roberto demands an answer in his swaggering little way at the end of the day. Ugh, the presumptive privilege of this guy. We’re meant to take against him, of course, but they’ve done it in such a way that I really don’t care what happens to him, unless it’s negative.

The one dude who hangs around all the girls because he can’t make any male friends his own age walks off in a huff (it’s me, then), sounding 13 but looking 36, and Momo and Boring Child commence their gossipy teasing.

I’m already switched off. Everything is ugly, this storyline is stupid, I hate all these kids.

"We need to get this bitch laid, Momo!"

“We need to get this bitch laid, Momo! It’s time for a make-over!”

So Chibi-Usa, displaying a breathtaking and admirable lack of tact, conveys this situation to the Secret Man Bird Horse living in a lamp in her room… who clearly realises he’s been friend-zoned and actually looks jealous and disappointed.

It’s creepy. It’s so very creepy. This magical horse is jealous of a 6 year old.

"I don't want you talking to any boys ever again. In fact, best just to stay inside your room. Forever."

“I don’t want you talking to any boys ever again. In fact, best just to stay inside your room. Forever.”

Usagi, meanwhile, sees a news report of a stupid flying horse attacking cars and stuff and apparently presumes it’s that magical being who keeps bestowing power upon her and is clearly not going around scaring the shit out of people for no fucking reason.

Amazon Trio bar. Fish-Eye spots a picture of a little boy and decides to try and pinch his balls.  In fact, Hawks-Eye and Tigers-Eye points out that this is, in fact, even more illegal than their usual hobbies of stalking and sexual assault…

…but Fish-Eye explains himself by going through in uncomfortable detail why under-aged boys are just the best, and ends up sounding like Jeffrey Dahmer in the process.

Note that the same outrage was not levied at Tigers-Eye when he planned to hit on a 12 year old girl, leading me to believe the disgust here is partially because Fish-Eye is gay

Note that the same outrage was not levied at Tigers-Eye when he planned to hit on a 12 year old girl, leading me to believe the disgust here is partially because Fish-Eye is gay. Classy.

The Senshi, meanwhile, are discussing if the flying horse being talking about in The Daily Mail could possibly be the same dude who keeps turning up every episode.

Chibi-Usa turns up to get offers of suspect advice from the girls regarding her romantic proposition (the correct answer is “you’re 11, go away“), leading to a genuinely funny observation by Usagi that she’s the only one who isn’t single out of the lot of them.

The Senshi here, bemoaning their poor art-work and inadequate character development this season

The Senshi here, bemoaning their poor art-work and inadequate character development this season

I feel weirdly disconnected to the Inner Senshi by this point in the series. They haven’t had much to do, and their social interactions have felt weirdly redundant. Lost a bit of the sparkle maybe.

I think we’re meant to be following Chibi-Usa’s emotional turmoil over whether to go out with this spit fuck footballer or not? They dedicate a few moments of pregnant pauses to her inner machinations. Buuuut it’s lost me by this point soooo…

I like how Rei’s advice is “just go out with him anyway“. Right on, sister. Do kids date at the age of 11 any more, or was that a mid-90s thing? Pretty sure I hadn’t even hit puberty yet.

I guess I should give this scene props for tackling the issue of young relationships and love in an accessible manner, but I just can’t bring myself to root for this little girl to follow her weird fascination with Pegasus.

But yeah, Chibi-Usa is totally in love. Bit worrying that.

"You're saying it's ok for a girl to be in love with a horse?" "No, I mean, wha-" "THANKS GUYS"

“You’re saying it’s ok for a girl to be in love with a horse?”
“No, I mean, wha-“
“THANKS GUYS”

Speaking of which, Chibi-Usa finally sees the news report and, of course, screams that it’s a lie. Everyone is highly suspicious about her behaviour and asks again if she knows more than she’s letting on, but they tactfully shy away from asking if she’s a furry.

(She is. Which is fine I guess. Bit fucked up but whatever. You do you.)

Hoo-boy, we’ve gotten to the part where Fish-Eye tries to fuck a child. Cool.

Fish-Eye would be so sexy right now if he wasn't about to groom a child in a secluded area

Fish-Eye would be so sexy right now if he wasn’t about to groom a child in a secluded area

If you think I’m being hyperbolic on this, note that Fish-Eye says the following things to this child:

Do you like older women?

I was hoping that someone would play around with me…

I want you to score a goal inside of me.”

Now… that last line is what I have on my subbed DVDs. I question how much of that is accurate, since my Japanese isn’t quite good enough to tell. But what I will say is that this is fucked up either way.

"Lady, my balls haven't even dropped yet. There ain't nothing for you to work with."

“Lady, my balls haven’t even dropped yet. There ain’t nothing for you to work with.”

 

I watched this episode last year, as a grown-ass man, with a mate of mine, who came around for pizza and beer every weekend to watch Sailor Moon. So cool… Anyway, at this line we both shared a moment of absolute bemusement, something I shall never forget.

He has since sent texts of “I want you to score a goal inside of me” at random and inappropriate times, and it never fails to make me cringe and laugh at the same time. So I thank this episode for that if nothing else.

What is at least amusing about this scene is how hard Fish-Eye is bombing, since Rimjob Roberto doesn’t seem too keen on this person approaching him in a deserted park and asking if he wants the kick the balls about wink wink.

Seriously though, this still got a chuckle out of me amongst all the face-palming

Seriously though, this still got a chuckle out of me amongst all the face-palming

The biggest problem with this is the enormously offensive yet prevalent presumption by bigots that homosexuality is the same as paedophilia. It’s why the Boy Scots still have such a problem with openly gay scout masters in the US.

I love Fish-Eye. Sure, I dislike it when he deceives people, but at the very least he has a much less rapey approach to his victims than the other Amazons. The episode with the fashion designer was amazing, principally for him. But this… this really makes it difficult to like Fish-Eye unless you just expunge this from your brain.

And I will do my best to.

I am kinda rooting for Fish-Eye when he finally attacks Roberto, in that I really just want the flirting to stop and want Roberto’s head to be detached from his pretty little shoulders.

Chibi-Usa and Usagi turn up and transform, performing a Double Sailor Kick in a nice call back to season 1. It fails miserably.

Today’s Remless is…

"...JESUS WEPT."

“…JESUS WEPT.”

Oh.

Oh gawd.

I literally regret every decision that led to me watching this

I literally regret every decision that led to me watching this

This is just…

There is no god. There is only Nightmare Fuel.

Well the Sailor Senshi’s reactions are pretty damn hilarious I must say, but don’t look nearly as good in motion.

Shoooock! Kuma SHOCK!

Shoooock! Kuma SHOCK!

Stupid Horse Man (I can’t be bothered to look up his name) spins around and forms a stupid darkness barrier to which Pegasus can’t get inside. He literally spins for the rest of the episode.

Fish-Eye now is in complete control… and decides to take the chance to kill Sailor Moon by throwing knives at her, and repeatedly misses. It’s father funny, again, but it’s in a sea of boring.

"Sooo what's your job in the circus then?" "I unplug the toilers"

“Sooo what’s your job in the circus then?”
“I unplug the toilets”

The other Senshi turn up and apparently still think Pegasus might be evil? They’re on a mission to be as obsolete as possible. Pegasus has a solution: to finally finally power up the other Senshi. But first they have to trust him and his clearly trust-worthy and stupid face.

To which I ask: could we not have had this 5 or 6 episodes ago? As a climax episode this falls far short of the quality I’ve come to expect from Sailor Moon.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRUST ME" "I don't- do we have to..." "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRUST ME OR THE KID DIES. LOOK AT ME."

“YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRUST ME”
“I don’t- do we have to…”
“YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRUST ME OR THE KID DIES. LOOK AT ME.”

Anyway, this whole “please trust me!” scene goes on way too long, and Pegasus decides that the only way to prove himself is by repeatedly bashing his face against the magic wall, sounding increasingly lame.

If this is meant to be a big dramatic moment, I don’t see it. Everything looks rather bad, and they occasionally cut back to the spinning buff horse man, which completely undercuts any point they’re trying to make.

Kiss it out, guys. Just imagine that.

Kiss it out, guys. Just imagine that.

So obviously the Senshi *choose* to trust Pegasus, and at the very least the powering up scene is nice enough… even though it doesn’t really bring them any new power except for slightly different outfits.

Outfits I like, mind you.

"Sooo what's different?" "Uhhh shoulder pads I think?" "LET'S KICK ASS."

“Sooo what’s different?”
“Uhhh shoulder pads I think?”
“LET’S KICK ASS.”

But seriously, no new attacks. They just use the normal attacks, but they’re “stronger”. We’ve had them since Sailor Moon R.

¬_¬

¬_¬

¬_¬

Bad decision. It takes another 12 episodes or so before we finally get new attacks. All goes towards the opinion that these guys get shafted in a season that arguably should have reinforced the central group instead of weirdly alienating them, both in plot and narrative.

Oh yeah, Horse Man dies.

"I had SO MUCH to LIVE FOR."

“I had SO MUCH to LIVE FOR.”

Chibi-Usa, in the end, turns down Shithead, while the sexless teenagers watch from the bushes. Talk about trust…

Oh yeah, Usagi totally left Mamory waiting outside the cinema for several hours to stalk her daughter. THE END.

"Thank god I missed then entire fucking episode."

“Thank god I missed the entire fucking episode.”

This episode. This fucking episode. It’s boring, it’s ugly, it’s saccharine, it’s falsely dramatic, it’s a massive let-down in the Senshi upgrade, it makes me turn against Fish-Eye, whom I previously loved.

IT’S DONE. I NEVER WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS EPISODE AGAIN.


 

FINAL SCORE: 1/5

MONSTER SCORE: 1/5 (You can spin on my middle finger, horse-man)

FINAL THOUGHT: I can’t believe Tigers-Eye and Hawks-Eye are less morally bankrupt than Fish-Eye in this episode.

NEXT TIME: Shingo falls in love with Ami at the beach and, sadly, no one drowns.

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7 Comments »

  1. Completely disagree. I gave it a 4/5, since it showed how Fisheye has strategic planning – since Pegasus is the source of power for the Sailor Senshi, isn’t it an obvious step to try to cut off their “supply route”? – whereas the dome is a clever allegory of the fox, the goose and the bag of beans problem. Of course, you are entitled to your opinion and to completely disregard all of these points.

  2. The perfect opportunity for the new powers…Aqua Mirage, Snake Fire, Coconut Cyclone, Wink Chain Sword…and we DON’T GET THEM?! Worst. Power-up. Ever.

  3. She’s saying “I’d like them to score a goal FOR me”, not INSIDE of me. That’s some pretty messed up subtitling, sheesh. Fish Eye is trying to relate to Roberto by acting like a huge soccer fan.

  4. Oh and btw she was never saying she wanted Roberto to do the “shooting” there. She’s talking about how her heart races when she watches the attractive soccer players, and she wants one of THEM to score a goal and say it was for her.

    I mean, she is acting weird and she did say she’s bored and hoped someone would play around with her. But that’s just the style of the Amazon Trio, they find any reason to engage with someone and talk to them for a while. She was never actually planning to do anything sexual with the kid, just like how Haruka sometimes flirts with someone just to see their reaction.

  5. and I forgot to mention, I know Fisheye has boy parts but Fisheye dresses and acts female and uses “atashi”, so I totally don’t know what pronoun to use. I’m used to “she” because a lot of English dub fans used it

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